Parents today are obsessed with turning their kids into super achievers right from the time the little ones step into this world. The race that begins there goes on for a lifetime for most kids and more often than not, ends on a sad note.

Here's a poem for all parents who wish that their kids become super achievers

Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.

Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is a way of foolishness

Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.

Show them the joy of tasting 
tomatoes, apples and pears.

Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.

Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.

And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.

 William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

Parents often provide a lot of stuff for their kids wishing they would learn new skills and get inspired by thoughts. However, what gets forgotten is that just providing stuff is not sufficient for kids; we also need to provide them ample time to explore things at their own leisure and at times even without imposing our pre-conceived notions of what needs to be done with the stuff. 

Ex: We given them a toy train and then teach them to go around the house screeching "Kooo...chuk chuk chuk..." We are imposing our pre-conceived notion that a train can only make this kind of sound. Why not , for a change, try giving the kid a toy train and let him or her explore the train at their leisure. Guide them only when they come seeking your guidance...else just observe them from a distance. You will be marveled at their creativity and ingeniousness. 

Here's a video to inspire parents and teachers....Creativity is not inspired by the pressure of time but by the freedom of playfulness and  fun

Raising Kids is by no means an easy task. However, it is also one that is provides lasting satisfaction and a life's fulfillment. 

A lot of parents tend to impose rules of their own defined by their own experience with their parents and other lessons imposed on them by life. Parents are so consumed by their own way of bringing up kids that they tend miss some obvious mistakes they might be committing. Here's 15 of those that parents often tend to overlook.

(To avoid writing "he or she" repeatedly, I'll assume that the child is female.)
Author: Daniel Wong

1. Never Call her "stupid" or "useless"

It's shocking that, in a fit of anger, many parents call their child "stupid" or "useless". Cruel words like these can remain etched in her mind for a lifetime.

2. Do not decide everything for her

Doing this can make her feel like she's being restricted and that she's not wise or intelligent enough to make her own choices.

3. Do not overemphasize the importance of obedience

Some parents do everything they can to raise an obedient child, but this can come at the expense of the parent-child relationship.

4. Show affection at every possible instance

When parents rarely show affection, the child may begin to question whether she is loved.

5. Never Discipline her when you are angry

Discipline should be carried out when the parents are calm. Caning or spanking the child shouldn't just be an immediate reaction to something she has done.

6. Do not show conditional love

Parents wound a child psychologically when they appear to show love and concern only when she performs well in school or when she's well behaved. Children need to know that their parents' love is unconditional.

7. Never compare her with her siblings or with other children her age

Every child is unique, so she shouldn't be made to feel as if she's living in the shadow of someone else.

8. Do not praise her for her ability, praise her instead of her effort

Praising the child for her commendable effort will encourage her to develop new skills and try out new things, instead of doing only the tasks that she has already proven her aptitude in.

9. Don’t do the mistake of setting boundaries but not enforcing them

Parents often set boundaries with regard to behaviour, sleeping time, household chores, etc. When these boundaries are not enforced, it causes the child to become confused and, possibly, defiant.

10. Do not allow your emotions to get the better of them

Based on my observations, the majority of parenting mistakes occur when parents fail to control their emotions. When parents allow negative emotions to get the better of them, it indirectly gives the child the permission to do the same. This manifests itself in the form of temper tantrums and teenage angst.

11. Do not attempt to achieve their unfulfilled dreams through her

Many parents live vicariously through their children. This can, however, be unhealthy. Parents who force their child to study certain subjects or pursue certain careers—against her wishes—can cause her to become angry and resentful.

12. Do not continually bail her out of trouble

For example, if a child forgets to bring her mathematics textbook to school and is threatened with punishment, many parents would bail her out by bringing the textbook to school for her. This kind of parenting, however, doesn't teach her to take full responsibility for her choices and her life.

13. Never end arguments by saying "I know what's best for you"

Parents use this phrase as a kind of trump card, but it's hardly ever effective. Instead, parents should express how much they love and care for their child, all while stressing the fact that choices come with consequences that she will have to bear.

14. Do not shield her from challenges and discomfort

It's completely natural for parents to do this, but it usually isn't best for the child's long-term development. Challenges, discomfort and struggle are necessary for her to find enduring success.

15. Do not allow her to become the center of the family's universe

Many parents allow the child's wants and needs to determine the entire family's schedule, plans, etc. But when this is taken to an extreme, the home environment can become hectic and stressful. Instead, parents should make the child realize that she is an important member of the family, but that the world does not revolve around her.

About the Author and Source of article
Daniel Wong is an Education & Personal Excellence coach and speaker based out of Singapore. He writes regularly at www.daniel-wong.com. His recent article in Singapore Yahoo site talks of common mistakes that parents commit while raising kids. Reproducing the article for the benefit of Amruthavarshini website readers. Y

As parents, try to find adequate time for your kids and provide them with first hand experiences. Certain experiences can be taken for granted depending on the community where you live. For example, children with a rural background will have a fairly good knowledge of seeds being planted and fertilizers spread. Never assume that your kids will get access to all sorts of life experiences in school. Even if the school is a good one and provides vicarious experiences, your approach will certainly will still stand out unique.

Look at the following few experiences:

1. Visit to a farm house.
2. Visit to a nursery.
3. Observing sparrows building nests, laying eggs and rearing their young ones.
4. Visit to a printing press or a garage.
5. Visit to a health clinic or a hospital.
6. Visit to a plastic industry.
7. Visit to an old age home or an orphanage.
8. Visit to a recycling unit.
9. Visit to a sericulture or a pisciculture plant.
10. Visit to a museum or a zoo.
11. Visit to a doll house or a studio.
12. Visit to a building construction site.

Never play down the importance of such visits while conversing with kids. Even if you are well versed, show a lot of interest in the activities there. Unless you show interest, how can the kids get enthused? Kids will definitely shoot dozens of questions, once he gets engrossed with the subject. Once you are in a site, discuss the situation, raise doubts, answer questions, compare things, appreciate good work done there and yes, at the end of it you will have contributed a lot to kid development.

I have seen some parents who think that their kids are too young to catch up. But, that is not a fact. Kids too can understand and appreciate. They are curious enough to know new things. Even your daily visits to your friend's place or market or doctor will have new experiences in store for your kids to see and understand.

I see lots of children not performing well. Many parents feel that it is the heredity or the genes children inherit that count. When I underwent teachers' training in the seventies, my psychology professor did say,

"Talent without training is ability lost,
Training without talent is labour lost"

I remember, we debated on this issue over days. Ultimately we concluded that both heredity and environment are important in the making of a kid.

But my experiences as a teacher have proved it the other way. Genes do count in deciding the performance but they are not everything.

Today, I tell in parents' meetings, "Help your kid develop right mental make up, right values and right strategy". How can it happen? Do we have some simple means? The answer is in the affirmative. To put the strategy in a nutshell,

1. Praise, support and encourage your kid. Keep warm relations. Inspire your kid and build up self-esteem.
   
2. Teach your kid, don't blame. Negative approaches always fail.
   
3. Keep assessing your child's strengths and provide varied opportunities.
   
4. Teach your kid techniques of relaxation, concentration and performing with greater efficiency.
   
5. Remind your child of success and steps to it.
   

Never goad your child with bribes, guilt, fear of failure, unhealthy competitive spirit, revenge or shortcuts.